Groucho Marx Biography | Inspiration Quotations | Motivation Quotes

Groucho Marx
Tags: 
Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx Motivational Quotations:

  • “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

  •  “Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

  • “A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

  • “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”

  • “I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

  • “I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”

  • “I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.”

  • “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”

  • “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

Groucho Marx

  • “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
  • “Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.”

  • “A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”

  • “I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.”

  • “It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.”

  • “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.”

  • “Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.”

  • Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”

  • “Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.”

  • “In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.”

  • “Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”

  • “She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.”

  • “Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.”

  • “Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?”

  • “I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.”

  • “I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”

  • “Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”
  • “Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.”

  • “Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!”

  • “Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.”

  • “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”

  • “A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.”

  • “Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.”

Groucho Marx

  • “I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
  • “I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.”
  • “Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.”

  • “Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.”

  • “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

  • “I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.”

  • “Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”
    “A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”

  • “Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.”

  • “There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.”

  • “From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.”
    “I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.”

  • “Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.”
    “I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.”

  • “Before I speak, I have something important to say.”
    “My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.”

  • “I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.”

  • “The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.”

  • “Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.”

  • “If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.”

  • “I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.”

Author: 
Unknown

Add new comment

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
4 + 0 =
Solve this simple math problem and enter the result. E.g. for 1+3, enter 4.

Recent Articles

Get Inspire

Inspire Tags

Ferdinand Marcos (1)Julius Erving (1)Failure quotes (1)Rod Blagojevich (1)Mother Theresa (1)Mother Quotes (1)Funny Quotes (1)AMRI Hospitals (1)Healthy and fitness blogs (1)Glenn Greenwald (1)Alan Greenspan (1)Laurence J. Peter (1)David Levithan (1)Andrew Carnegie (1)Team Building Quotes (1)Emotional Quotes (1)C.S. Lewis (1)Mireille Guiliano (1)Learning Quotes (1)M.Scott Peck (1)Gerald Chertavian (1)Farmer (1)Floyd Mayweather Jr. (1)Mikaela Shiffrin (1)Steven Wright (1)Jean Chatzky (1)Hard work (3)Andrew Shue (1)Charles Lamb (1)Ronald Ross (1)Jessica cox (1)Vincent Van Gogh (1)Madonna Ciccone (1)Sania Mirza (1)Courage Quotes (1)William Morris (1)Adam Grant (1)Alexander Graham Bell (1)Gilbert K. Chesterton (1)Never Give Up Quotes (1)Indian Successful CEOs (1)Julia Gillard (1)John F. Kennedy (1)W. C. Fields (1)Quotes On Travel (1)Nature Quotes (1)Motivational Quotes (4)Poorna Malavath (1)Laws of life (1)Nobel Prizes (1)New Year (1)Chance Quotes (1)Daniel H.Pink (1)Business person (1)Yuval Noah Harari (1)Marya Mannes (1)Monique Murphy (1)Hope (1)Bill Clinton (1)Spirituality Quotes (1)Amit Kalantri (1)Family Quotes (1)Leadership (1)Best Overseas Education consultants in UAE (1)Martin Luther King Jr (1)B. F. Skinner (1)Apple CEO (1)Quotes on Sympathy (1)Behaviour (1)Self driving car in Bangalore (1)Rudyard Kipling (1)Do it (3)Nick Vujicic (1)Lee Atwater (1)Vincent Nichols (1)Intelligence Quotes (1)Sports Inspiration (1)Rick Pitino (1)team management (1)Matt Cartwright (1)Brene Brown (1)Integrity Quotes (1)James Whitcomb Riley (1)inspirational quotes (1)democritus (1)Mark Twain (1)Peter drucker (1)Love Quotes (1)Faith quotes (1)Passion Quotes (1)Attitude Quotes (1)Richard Branson (1)Team Management Quotes (1)neet questions chapter wise (1)Teachers’ Day Quotes (1)Successful woman (1)Travis Bradberry (1)Steve Jobs (1)Judy Blume (1)Khashaba Dadasaheb Jadhav (1)Time management skills (1)Appreciation Quotations (1)neet practice papers (1)Entrepreneur (1)Team work quotes (1)Innovation (1)Quotes on Truth (1)William Arthur Ward (1)Success quotations (1)Calvin Coolidge (1)Dr Gautam Allahbadia (6)Leadership Quotes (1)Life Quotes (1)William Butler Yeats (1)Quotes on Teenage (1)Benjamin Disraeli (1)Leo Rosten (1)Jacky Ickx (1)Eric Ripert (1)Quotations on money (1)Maya Angelou (1)Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1)Emma Thompson (1)Arthur C. Clarke (1)Lou Rawls (1)Conrad Hilton (1)Top 10 Indian CEO’s (1)Parents (1)Best astrologer in India (1)Patriotism (1)Humor Quotes (1)A.P.J. Abdul Kalam (1)Sympathy (1)Service (1)encouragement quotes (1)NRI Privilege Health Card (1)Anthong Foxx (1)George Bernard Shaw (1)Jacob A. Riis (1)Harry Stack Sullivan (1)Sydney J. Harris (1)neet question bank (1)Amy Schumer (1)Drake (1)Dr Gautam Allahbadia Mumbai (6)Daniel Goleman (1)Brain Tracy (1)Spiritual Leader (1)Bertrand Russell (1)James Altucher (1)Hope quotations (1)Tom Peters (1)Rick Steves (1)Sundeep Kochar (1)Experience Quotes (1)Salman F Rahman (1)Women (1)Fathers day quotes (1)Time management (2)Dalai Lama (1)Leonard Cohen (1)Miguel de Cervantes (1)Positive Thinking Quotes (1)Communication Quotes (1)Liz Murray (1)john dewey (1)Curtis Carlson (1)Stephen King (1)Og Mandino (1)Great Quotes (1)Healthcare (4)Nelson Mandela (1)Paul J.Meyer (1)Positive Thinking (1)Robert De Niro (1)Barack Obama (1)C. JoyBell C Biography (1)Aristotle (1)Jeff Hawkins (1)Abraham Lincoln (1)Poem (1)Narendra Modi (1)Mark Frauenfelder (1)Mahatma Gandhi (1)John Quincy Adams (1)Inspiration (3)Immigration Quotes (1)Angela Merkel (1)Legal Quotes (1)Business quotes (1)Charles Dickens (1)Thomas Carlyle (1)Robert Breault (1)Peggy Fleming (1)Yehuda Berg (1)Freddie Highmore (1)Tracy Morgan (1)chapter wise questions for neet (1)Jack Ma (1)Alibaba Founder (1)Sanjay Dalmia (1)Jim Rohn (1)Successful people (1)Strength (1)Self Driving Car (1)Aesop (1)Brian Acton (1)Melody Beattie (1)Quotations on Stregnth (1)Steven Pressfield (1)Gautama Buddha (1)Scientists (1)Oliver Sacks (1)Self-Discipline Quotes (1)Most Inspirational Quotes (1)Peace Quotes (1)James Cash Penney (1)Success (10)Poetry (1)No idling (1)Inspirational story (1)Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1)Epictetus (1)Never give up (2)Damian Woetzel (1)Vince Lombardi (1)John D. Rockefeller (1)Robert Gately (1)Punctuality (1)Erma Bombeck (1)Micky Ward (1)Suzy Kassem (1)Robert Collier (1)Brian Greene (1)Marathon (1)Pallam Raju (1)Invention (1)Lucius Annaeus Seneca (1)Siri Hustvedt (1)Oscar Wilde (1)Mahatma Gandhi Quotes (1)Swami Vivekananda (2)Steve Jobs Quotes (1)Ludwig van Beethoven (1)Shiv Khera (1)Norman Douglas (1)Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1)Relationship quotes (1)God Quotes (1)Health (3)Earl Nightingale (1)plato (1)Sports Quotes (1)Hilarie Burton (1)Anita Roddick (1)Running (2)Harvey Mackay (1)J.K. Rowling (1)Erykah Badu (1)Marathon Racer (1)Henry J. Kaiser (1)Oprah Winfrey (1)D.H. Lawrence (1)Young Jeezy (1)Dave Ramsey (1)Benjamin Franklin (1)Humanity (1)M.J.Ryan (1)Henry Wheeler Shaw (1)abroad education consultants (1)Helen Keller (1)Mary Kay Ash (1)online mock test for neet (1)Mary Anne Radmacher (1)Shaun White (1)Celebrity astrologer in india (1)Darell Hammond (1)Conrad burns (1)Tommy Lasorda (1)William Makepeace Tahckeray (1)Marcus Tullius Cicero (1)Marty Rubin (1)Angela Ruggiero (1)Inspire (2)Joe Morgan (1)Hope Quotes (1)Earl Wilson (1)Thomas Edison (1)Winston S. Churchill (1)Music Quotes (1)Hunter S. Thompson (1)team work (1)Jamie Oliver (1)Shari Arison (1)Isak Dinesen (1)Do the work (1)Valentine Day (1)Religion Quotes (1)Harriet Beecher Stowe (1)Paul Watson (1)New Year's Quotations (1)Henry Ford (1)Inventors (1)Truth (1)Change Quotes (1)Julie Andrews (1)Yogi Berra (1)Dalmia Health (1)Joseph Addison (1)study mbbs abroad (1)Vision Quotes (1)Groucho Marx (1)Indian Film Actor (1)Sean Swarner Everest Climber (1)Bangladesh (1)Healthy lifestyle blog (1)Tom Freston (1)IVF Specialist in Mumbai (1)Persistence Quotes (1)Women Quotes (1)Naveen Jain (1)Karin Slaughter (1)Patrick Henry Hughes (1)Jean Paul Friedrich (1)Punctuality skills (1)Sudha Chandran (1)Dalmia Family (1)Orison Swett Marden (1)H.Jackson Brown (1)Albert Schweitzer (1)Marriage Quotes (1)Soft skills (1)Goal Setting Quotes (1)Friendship Quotes (1)Satchel Paige (1)Thad Cochran (1)King Solomon (1)Failure Management quotes (1)Clare Boothe Luce (1)Vera Nazarian (1)Kumar Mangalam Birla (1)George Horace lorimer (1)Orson Scott Card (1)John Powell (1)Dale Carnegie (1)Health quotes (1)Creativity (1)dream quotes (1)Jane Addams (1)Scilla Elworthy (1)Management quotes (1)Kamal Hassan (1)Mark Pocan (1)William Feather (1)neet mock test (1)Games (1)Larry Bird (1)education quotes (1)Alexander Solshenitsen (1)Christiane Northrup (1)Paul Mellon (1)Ernest Hemingway (1)Quotations on Valentine Day (1)Kofi Annan (1)Rabindranath Tagore (1)Parents day Quotes (1)Commitment quotes (1)neet online mock test (1)Diet food recipes (1)Jon Oringer (1)C.G. Jung (1)John Dryden (1)Honesty Quotes (1)Richard Carlson (1)Andre Gide (1)Conan O Brien (1)Knowledge Quotes (1)Michelle Obama (1)Lou Holtz (1)Douglas Adams (1)Achievement (4)Happiness quotes (1)Bill Gates (1)Hard Work Quotes (1)Romance (1)neet question papers with answers (1)Criss Angel (1)Stephen Covey (1)Alex Morritt (1)Tony Robbins (1)Randy Pausch (1)Sophie Swetchine (1)Wisdom Quotes (1)Quotes (1)Quotations on Romance (1)Dalmia Group (1)neet mock test papers (1)Margaret Heffernan (1)Leo Buscaglia (1)Albert Einstein (1)Quotations On Memorial Day (1)Abdul Kalam Quotations (1)Failure Management (1)Voltaire (1)Money (1)Fitness Quotes (1)Wilfred Peterson (1)Memorial Day (1)Marc Benioff (1)James Humes (1)Marvin Bower (1)Virginia Postrel (1)Hermann Hesse (1)Shannon L. Alder (1)Louis Pasteur (1)Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1)Dr T.P.Chia (1)Walt Disney (1)James Heckman (1)Bernard Baruch (1)Quotations on Patriotism (1)Inventors killed (1)Bobby Scott (1)Howard Schultz (1)