Groucho Marx Biography | Inspiration Quotations | Motivation Quotes

Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx Motivational Quotations:

  • “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

  •  “Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

  • “A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”

  • “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”

  • “I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

  • “I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”

  • “I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.”

  • “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”

  • “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”

Groucho Marx

  • “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
  • “Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.”

  • “A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”

  • “I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.”

  • “It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.”

  • “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.”

  • “Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.”

  • Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”

  • “Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.”

  • “In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.”

  • “Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”

  • “She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.”

  • “Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.”

  • “Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?”

  • “I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.”

  • “I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”

  • “Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”
  • “Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.”

  • “Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!”

  • “Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.”

  • “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”

  • “A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.”

  • “Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.”

Groucho Marx

  • “I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
  • “I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.”
  • “Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.”

  • “Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.”

  • “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

  • “I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.”

  • “Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”
    “A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”

  • “Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.”

  • “There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.”

  • “From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.”
    “I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.”

  • “Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.”
    “I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.”

  • “Before I speak, I have something important to say.”
    “My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.”

  • “I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.”

  • “The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.”

  • “Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.”

  • “If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.”

  • “I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.”


Add new comment

This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
1 + 1 =
Solve this simple math problem and enter the result. E.g. for 1+3, enter 4.

Recent Articles

Get Inspire

Inspire Tags

Abdul Kalam Quotations (1)Humanity (1)Glenn Greenwald (1)Experience Quotes (1)Hard Work Quotes (1)John Dryden (1)Farmer (1)Peter drucker (1)Marathon Racer (1)online mock test for neet (1)C.G. Jung (1)Parents (1)john dewey (1)Passion Quotes (1)J.K. Rowling (1)Spirituality Quotes (1)Patrick Henry Hughes (1)AMRI Hospitals (1)Robert De Niro (1)Erma Bombeck (1)Healthcare (5)Lee Atwater (1)Madam Grace Pinto (1)Henry J. Kaiser (1)Appreciation Quotations (1)Soft skills (1)Health quotes (1)George Bernard Shaw (1)Jeff Hawkins (1)Hope quotations (1)Failure Management (1)Swami Vivekananda (2)Fly Solo (2)Vision Quotes (1)Dr Goral Gandhi (1)W. C. Fields (1)Floyd Mayweather Jr. (1)Indian Successful CEOs (1)Mary Anne Radmacher (1)Paul Mellon (1)team work (1)Money (1)Oscar Wilde (1)Louis Pasteur (1)Quotes (1)gate barrier dubai (1)Quotations on Stregnth (1)Angela Ruggiero (1)chain block suppliers in uae (1)visa (1)Faith quotes (1)Intelligence Quotes (1)Shannon L. Alder (1)Health (3)Scientists (1)Leo Rosten (1)Angela Merkel (1)canada education (1)Robert Breault (1)King Solomon (1)chain block manufacturer (2)air conditioning companies in dubai (1)neet practice papers (1)neet question papers with answers (1)plato (1)Dalmia Group (1)Quotes on Sympathy (1)Punctuality skills (1)Walt Disney (1)Wisdom Quotes (1)Healthy lifestyle blog (1)Thad Cochran (1)Marya Mannes (1)Lou Rawls (1)New Year's Quotations (1)Winston S. Churchill (1)Friendship Quotes (1)Inventors killed (1)Vera Nazarian (1)hospitals in Eastern India (1)Jack Ma (1)Communication Quotes (1)Dalai Lama (1)Conrad Hilton (1)canada Universities (1)John D. Rockefeller (1)Ferdinand Marcos (1)Joseph Addison (1)Leadership Quotes (1)concrete building (1)Dale Carnegie (1)D.H. Lawrence (1)Do it (3)Healthy and fitness blogs (2)Paul J.Meyer (1)Lou Holtz (1)creative (1)Orson Scott Card (1)Monique Murphy (1)inspiring (1)Richard Branson (1)Share Market (1)Adam Grant (1)Embryologist (1)wedding photographer in lucknow (1)James Heckman (1)William Butler Yeats (1)Damian Woetzel (1)Strength (1)Patriotism (1)James Whitcomb Riley (1)air conditioning ducting supplies (1)Time management (2)Goal Setting Quotes (1)Ryan International School (3)Attitude Quotes (1)Ryan Pinto (1)Miracle Man (1)Memorial Day (1)Henry Wheeler Shaw (1)Quotations on Romance (1)Rick Pitino (1)storage solutions dubai (1)Nature Quotes (1)Bill Clinton (1)Salman F Rahman (1)commodity trading (1)Marvin Bower (1)Virginia Postrel (1)Fathers day quotes (1)condensing unit (1)Melody Beattie (1)Robert Gately (1)James Cash Penney (1)Harvey Mackay (1)Studying Abroad (3)democritus (1)study visa (1)Sports Quotes (1)Margaret Heffernan (1)Peace Quotes (1)Jobs (1)Steve Jobs (1)Tom Peters (1)Matt Cartwright (1)Mikaela Shiffrin (1)Running (2)Daniel H.Pink (1)Douglas Adams (1)Alexander Graham Bell (1)Love Quotes (1)H.Jackson Brown (1)Atlantic Ocean (2)Steve Jobs Quotes (1)Music Quotes (1)Arthur C. Clarke (1)Life Quotes (1)Howard Schultz (1)IVF Specialist in Mumbai (11)Quotes on Truth (1)stall (1)Poetry (1)Karin Slaughter (1)Hard work (3)inspirational quotes (1)Dr Goral Gandhi Mumbai (1)Orison Swett Marden (1)Oprah Winfrey (1)Eric Ripert (1)Henry Ford (1)Sanjay Dalmia (1)Mark Pocan (1)neet mock test papers (1)education (4)Gerald Chertavian (1)C.S. Lewis (1)team management (1)Shaun White (1)Brian Acton (1)Endometriosis (1)Ronald Ross (1)Criss Angel (1)Conan O Brien (1)Nobel Prizes (1)Kofi Annan (1)Liz Murray (1)Behaviour (1)Poorna Malavath (1)Og Mandino (1)Larry Bird (1)Vince Lombardi (1)Pallam Raju (1)Games (1)Calvin Coolidge (1)Madonna Ciccone (1)Yehuda Berg (1)Robert Collier (1)Mother Quotes (1)Romance (1)Wilfred Peterson (1)Chance Quotes (1)Suzy Kassem (1)Teachers’ Day Quotes (1)Thomas Carlyle (1)Andrew Shue (1)dream quotes (1)wedding photographer (1)Harry Stack Sullivan (1)Leo Buscaglia (1)Dalmia Health (1)John F. Kennedy (1)horizontal life line system (1)abroad education consultants (4)Analytical Testing Lab (3)Conrad burns (1)Anita Roddick (1)Satchel Paige (1)Punctuality (1)Paul Watson (1)Charles Dickens (1)Laurence J. Peter (1)Richard Carlson (1)Successful woman (1)Hunter S. Thompson (1)Yuval Noah Harari (1)Family Quotes (1)Sudha Chandran (1)Anthong Foxx (1)Brian Greene (1)Daniel Goleman (1)David Levithan (1)Rick Steves (1)Inspire (2)Team Management Quotes (1)investment (1)Maya Angelou (1)Management quotes (1)Jacky Ickx (1)Honesty Quotes (1)Jim Rohn (1)Amphibious building style (1)IVF success (1)Sundeep Kochar (1)Bobby Scott (1)Marc Benioff (1)Steven Wright (1)lifting equipments manufacturers (2)James Humes (1)Alex Morritt (1)Construction (1)Team Building Quotes (1)Alan Greenspan (1)chain sling manufacturer (2)Hermann Hesse (1)Voltaire (1)Happiness quotes (1)ahu unit manufacturer (1)wedding photography trends (1)Innovation (1)John Powell (1)neet online mock test (1)Top 10 Indian CEO’s (1)study in canada (1)Digital marketing (1)Dr Gautam Allahbadia (18)Martin Luther King Jr (1)kolkata hospitals (1)Religion Quotes (1)Amy Schumer (1)Jon Oringer (1)Stephen Covey (1)Hilarie Burton (1)Micky Ward (1)Entrepreneur (1)Scilla Elworthy (1)Nelson Mandela (1)Spiritual Leader (1)Erykah Badu (1)Inspirational story (1)Shiv Khera (1)Albert Einstein (1)Jessica cox (1)safety equipment suppliers in uae (1)Quotations on money (1)Marriage Quotes (1)Michelle Obama (1)Time management skills (1)Isak Dinesen (1)A.P.J. Abdul Kalam (1)Mark Frauenfelder (1)Immigration Quotes (1)neet question bank (1)Invention (1)Self-Discipline Quotes (1)Clare Boothe Luce (1)Legal Quotes (1)Toy Testing (1)Gautama Buddha (1)Indian Film Actor (1)Self Driving Car (1)Curtis Carlson (1)study mbbs abroad (2)Truth (1)William Makepeace Tahckeray (1)Vincent Nichols (1)Creativity (3)chapter wise questions for neet (1)Bangladesh (1)Helen Keller (1)Best Overseas Education consultants in UAE (1)Hope (1)Rudyard Kipling (1)assisted reproduction (2)Peggy Fleming (1)Sean Swarner Everest Climber (1)Aesop (1)Courage Quotes (1)Failure Management quotes (1)Leadership (1)Travis Bradberry (1)Harriet Beecher Stowe (1)design (2)wire rope manufacturer (2)Aristotle (1)Sophie Swetchine (1)Inspiration (3)C. JoyBell C Biography (1)Persistence Quotes (1)Vincent Van Gogh (1)Aarohi Pandit (2)Stephen King (1)Business quotes (1)God Quotes (1)Quotations on Patriotism (1)Failure quotes (1)Brain Tracy (1)Quotes on Teenage (1)Team work quotes (1)Fitness Quotes (1)air conditioning company in dubai (1)Success quotations (1)Mark Twain (1)water testing (2)Relationship quotes (1)Sympathy (1)Safety (1)Rabindranath Tagore (1)Women (1)Narendra Modi (1)Most Inspirational Quotes (1)Thomas Edison (1)William Arthur Ward (1)Commitment quotes (1)water testing lab (2)hygiene unit (1)New Year (1)Andrew Carnegie (1)Khashaba Dadasaheb Jadhav (1)Julie Andrews (1)Emma Thompson (1)hvac companies in dubai (1)Dr Gautam Allahbadia Mumbai (18)water testing lab in delhi (2)Parents day Quotes (1)Achievement (4)Leonard Cohen (1)Drake (1)SEO Company (1)Real estate (1)Building (1)Earl Nightingale (1)IVF (8)exhibition (3)Miguel de Cervantes (1)Charles Lamb (1)Jane Addams (1)Mireille Guiliano (1)ccess doors manufacturer (1)Jacob A. Riis (1)Successful people (1)Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1)Quotations On Memorial Day (1)trade show (1)Young Jeezy (1)Humor Quotes (1)Knowledge Quotes (1)Tony Robbins (1)Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1)Quotations on Valentine Day (1)James Altucher (1)assisted hatching (1)education quotes (1)Freddie Highmore (1)Apple CEO (1)medical emergency (1)wedding photography in lucknow (1)Barack Obama (1)William Morris (1)George Horace lorimer (1)Success (10)Lucius Annaeus Seneca (1)William Feather (1)Funny Quotes (1)neet mock test (1)wedding photography (1)Never Give Up Quotes (1)Julius Erving (1)Sydney J. Harris (1)Jean Chatzky (1)Jean Paul Friedrich (1)SEO services (1)Hope Quotes (1)Benjamin Franklin (1)Dr T.P.Chia (1)M.Scott Peck (1)Jamie Oliver (1)Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1)Kamal Hassan (1)Benjamin Disraeli (1)Emotional Quotes (1)Groucho Marx (1)Mother Theresa (1)Learning Quotes (1)Alexander Solshenitsen (1)results (1)Service (1)Naveen Jain (1)Siri Hustvedt (1)Best astrologer in India (1)B. F. Skinner (1)Marty Rubin (1)M.J.Ryan (1)Tom Freston (1)testing lab in delhi (2)Positive Thinking (1)Albert Schweitzer (1)earth-quake resistant (1)Darell Hammond (1)neet questions chapter wise (1)Inventors (1)MLM consultant (1)Dave Ramsey (1)access door supplier (1)VIDEO (1)benefits of IVF (1)Andre Gide (1)Gilbert K. Chesterton (1)Tracy Morgan (1)Quotes On Travel (1)Sports Inspiration (1)AMRI Hospitals Bhubaneswar (1)No idling (1)Steven Pressfield (1)Business person (1)PPC (1)Integrity Quotes (1)Marathon (1)Bernard Baruch (1)Change Quotes (1)esma approved ac manufacturer (1)Mahatma Gandhi Quotes (1)Mary Kay Ash (1)Amit Kalantri (1)Better building construction (1)Ludwig van Beethoven (1)Marcus Tullius Cicero (1)Bill Gates (1)Shari Arison (1)Do the work (1)Ernest Hemingway (1)John Quincy Adams (1)Tommy Lasorda (1)Valentine Day (1)Oliver Sacks (1)Dalmia Family (1)Rod Blagojevich (1)Great Quotes (1)Kumar Mangalam Birla (1)Christiane Northrup (1)Randy Pausch (1)Joe Morgan (1)Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1)Laws of life (1)Poem (1)Never give up (2)Nick Vujicic (1)ICSI (1)Bertrand Russell (1)Women Quotes (1)Epictetus (1)Judy Blume (1)stall designing (1)Mahatma Gandhi (1)cantilever shelving systems (1)Norman Douglas (1)Self driving car in Bangalore (1)Sania Mirza (1)Yogi Berra (1)Earl Wilson (1)Abraham Lincoln (1)Alibaba Founder (1)spectro labs (2)Diet food recipes (1)Celebrity astrologer in india (1)Brene Brown (1)Julia Gillard (1)high speed doors uae (1)Motivational Quotes (4)cantilever racking supplier (1)NRI Privilege Health Card (1)encouragement quotes (1)Positive Thinking Quotes (1)