Funny quotes | Joyful Funny Quotations | Inspirational Quotes

Funny Quotes
Tags: 
Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes - Fun does many things for us; having fun gives us an opportunity to connect with people of different nature and be creative. Fun improves our relationships both at work and in life. When you have fun with others, these experiences have a positive effect on building trust and developing communication. Fun reduces our stress levels and often boosts vitality. Fun can make you more energetic and youthful.

There are a lot of ways to have fun.  Some people use jokes and humor to have fun, some play games, some watch funny movies and read funny books, funny quotes etc. Here we list funny quotes by famous authors and comedians :

Funny Quotes:

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” 

- George Carlin

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” 

- Phyllis Diller

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (Mahatma Gandhi)

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” 

- Mark Twain

Funny Quotes “What the hell is that?" I laughed.

"It's my fox hat."

"Your fox hat?"

"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."

"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.

"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.” 

- John Green

Funny Quotes “It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.” 

- Marilyn Monroe

“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.” 

- Ellen DeGeneres

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” 

- Albert Einstein

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” 

- Cathy Guisewite

“If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?” 

- Jerry Seinfeld

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” 

- Winston S. Churchill

“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.” 

- Bill Cosby

“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

- George Carlin

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”

- Reba McEntire

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

- Elbert Hubbard

“No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”

- Abraham Lincoln

“If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.”

- Tallulah Bankhead

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

- Jim Carrey

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

- Fred Allen

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

- Winston Churchill

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”

- Chris Rock

“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”

- Isaac Asimov

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”

- Margaret Mead

“Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.”

- Will Rogers

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”

- Anthony Burgess

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

- Mitch Hedberg

“If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”

- Henny Youngman

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

- Mark Twain

“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”

- Thomas Sowell

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”

- Benjamin Franklin

“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.”

- W. H. Auden

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

- Ron White

“Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.”

- Eminem

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”

- Rodney Dangerfield

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”

- Abraham Lincoln

“Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” 

- Suzanne Collins

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”

- Lily Tomlin

“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.”

- Brooke Shields

“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”

- Lana Turner

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.”

- Hedy Lamarr

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”

- Douglas Adams

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”

- George Carlin

“Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.”

- Thor Heyerdahl

Funny Quotes

“If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.”

- Robin Williams

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

“Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.”

- E. B. White

“Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube.”

- Joan Rivers

“By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.”

- Richard Dawkins

“We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.”

- Sheena Easton

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.”

- Albert Einstein

Author: 
Unknown
Inspire Quote: 
Funny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny Quotes

Add new comment

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
6 + 3 =
Solve this simple math problem and enter the result. E.g. for 1+3, enter 4.

Recent Articles

Get Inspire

Inspire Tags

Poorna Malavath (1)Management quotes (1)Friendship Quotes (1)Achievement (4)Kumar Mangalam Birla (1)Henry Wheeler Shaw (1)Brian Acton (1)Parents day Quotes (1)Adam Grant (1)W. C. Fields (1)Intelligence Quotes (1)Strength (1)Liz Murray (1)Abdul Kalam Quotations (1)Team Management Quotes (1)Miguel de Cervantes (1)Martin Luther King Jr (1)Erykah Badu (1)Peggy Fleming (1)Charles Dickens (1)Melody Beattie (1)Robert Collier (1)Thomas Edison (1)Virginia Postrel (1)Groucho Marx (1)Behaviour (1)Sophie Swetchine (1)Matt Cartwright (1)M.Scott Peck (1)Failure Management (1)King Solomon (1)Jean Chatzky (1)Travis Bradberry (1)C.S. Lewis (1)Hope (1)J.K. Rowling (1)Sports Inspiration (1)Harvey Mackay (1)Khashaba Dadasaheb Jadhav (1)New Year (1)William Arthur Ward (1)Rick Steves (1)Howard Schultz (1)Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1)Orison Swett Marden (1)Failure Management quotes (1)B. F. Skinner (1)Relationship quotes (1)Albert Schweitzer (1)Appreciation Quotations (1)Soft skills (1)Scientists (1)Rudyard Kipling (1)Richard Carlson (1)Larry Bird (1)Farmer (1)C.G. Jung (1)Shiv Khera (1)inspirational quotes (1)Helen Keller (1)Chance Quotes (1)Tom Peters (1)Robert Gately (1)Calvin Coolidge (1)Gerald Chertavian (1)Business person (1)Epictetus (1)Pallam Raju (1)Punctuality skills (1)Vince Lombardi (1)Kamal Hassan (1)Jamie Oliver (1)Positive Thinking Quotes (1)Mahatma Gandhi Quotes (1)Emma Thompson (1)dream quotes (1)Tony Robbins (1)Nature Quotes (1)Judy Blume (1)Og Mandino (1)Randy Pausch (1)Yogi Berra (1)Dave Ramsey (1)Parents (1)Young Jeezy (1)Integrity Quotes (1)Love Quotes (1)Humor Quotes (1)Running (2)Robert Breault (1)Quotations on Patriotism (1)Jacob A. Riis (1)John Quincy Adams (1)Quotes on Sympathy (1)Mikaela Shiffrin (1)Marya Mannes (1)Entrepreneur (1)Family Quotes (1)John F. Kennedy (1)Scilla Elworthy (1)Team work quotes (1)Andrew Shue (1)Conrad burns (1)Mary Anne Radmacher (1)Mireille Guiliano (1)Joe Morgan (1)Swami Vivekananda (2)Courage Quotes (1)Romance (1)Brene Brown (1)Hope quotations (1)Success (10)Patrick Henry Hughes (1)Walt Disney (1)Marathon Racer (1)Sydney J. Harris (1)Lee Atwater (1)Mahatma Gandhi (1)Vincent Van Gogh (1)David Levithan (1)James Humes (1)Music Quotes (1)Nick Vujicic (1)Patriotism (1)Damian Woetzel (1)Conan O Brien (1)Jon Oringer (1)Steve Jobs Quotes (1)Alan Greenspan (1)Steve Jobs (1)Stephen Covey (1)Self-Discipline Quotes (1)Isak Dinesen (1)Quotations on money (1)Leadership (1)Satchel Paige (1)Freddie Highmore (1)Anthong Foxx (1)Time management skills (1)Funny Quotes (1)Richard Branson (1)Maya Angelou (1)Suzy Kassem (1)A.P.J. Abdul Kalam (1)Mark Frauenfelder (1)Poem (1)Do it (3)Spirituality Quotes (1)Brain Tracy (1)Motivational Quotes (4)Louis Pasteur (1)Hope Quotes (1)Apple CEO (1)Quotes on Teenage (1)Punctuality (1)Team Building Quotes (1)Quotations on Romance (1)Glenn Greenwald (1)Never Give Up Quotes (1)Nobel Prizes (1)Lou Rawls (1)Rabindranath Tagore (1)Amit Kalantri (1)Dr T.P.Chia (1)John D. Rockefeller (1)Orson Scott Card (1)H.Jackson Brown (1)Sania Mirza (1)Madonna Ciccone (1)D.H. Lawrence (1)Women (1)Shaun White (1)Happiness quotes (1)Invention (1)Lou Holtz (1)Bill Clinton (1)Tom Freston (1)Michelle Obama (1)Experience Quotes (1)Do the work (1)Mother Theresa (1)Julius Erving (1)Harry Stack Sullivan (1)Passion Quotes (1)Yuval Noah Harari (1)Albert Einstein (1)Charles Lamb (1)Inventors killed (1)James Whitcomb Riley (1)Sean Swarner Everest Climber (1)Knowledge Quotes (1)Julia Gillard (1)Hermann Hesse (1)Nelson Mandela (1)Vera Nazarian (1)Kofi Annan (1)Arthur C. Clarke (1)Darell Hammond (1)Self Driving Car (1)Fitness Quotes (1)James Cash Penney (1)Dale Carnegie (1)Top 10 Indian CEO’s (1)Dalai Lama (1)Gautama Buddha (1)Hard Work Quotes (1)education quotes (1)Truth (1)Aristotle (1)Inspire (2)William Makepeace Tahckeray (1)Narendra Modi (1)Time management (2)Oprah Winfrey (1)Immigration Quotes (1)Innovation (1)Julie Andrews (1)Marriage Quotes (1)John Dryden (1)James Heckman (1)Mark Pocan (1)William Morris (1)Bill Gates (1)democritus (1)Quotes On Travel (1)Learning Quotes (1)Siri Hustvedt (1)Monique Murphy (1)Jim Rohn (1)Vision Quotes (1)Erma Bombeck (1)God Quotes (1)Thomas Carlyle (1)New Year's Quotations (1)Religion Quotes (1)Alexander Graham Bell (1)Mark Twain (1)encouragement quotes (1)Marc Benioff (1)Angela Merkel (1)Rod Blagojevich (1)Fathers day quotes (1)Self driving car in Bangalore (1)Marcus Tullius Cicero (1)Douglas Adams (1)Wilfred Peterson (1)Successful woman (1)Bernard Baruch (1)Drake (1)Creativity (1)Sudha Chandran (1)Commitment quotes (1)Humanity (1)Quotes (1)Valentine Day (1)Benjamin Franklin (1)Winston S. Churchill (1)Anita Roddick (1)Norman Douglas (1)Life Quotes (1)Henry J. Kaiser (1)Andre Gide (1)Mary Kay Ash (1)Thad Cochran (1)Gilbert K. Chesterton (1)Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1)Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1)Bertrand Russell (1)Persistence Quotes (1)Abraham Lincoln (1)Tommy Lasorda (1)Inspiration (3)Teachers’ Day Quotes (1)Vincent Nichols (1)Karin Slaughter (1)Peter drucker (1)Jane Addams (1)Jean Paul Friedrich (1)Alibaba Founder (1)Attitude Quotes (1)M.J.Ryan (1)William Butler Yeats (1)Henry Ford (1)Hard work (3)Wisdom Quotes (1)Alex Morritt (1)Quotes on Truth (1)Health quotes (1)Rick Pitino (1)Laurence J. Peter (1)Jessica cox (1)Earl Wilson (1)Marathon (1)Ferdinand Marcos (1)Hunter S. Thompson (1)Daniel Goleman (1)team management (1)Indian Successful CEOs (1)James Altucher (1)Success quotations (1)Oscar Wilde (1)Jacky Ickx (1)Business quotes (1)Conrad Hilton (1)Steven Wright (1)Eric Ripert (1)Money (1)Paul J.Meyer (1)Faith quotes (1)Leadership Quotes (1)John Powell (1)Yehuda Berg (1)Aesop (1)Bobby Scott (1)Ronald Ross (1)Indian Film Actor (1)C. JoyBell C Biography (1)Robert De Niro (1)Marty Rubin (1)Margaret Heffernan (1)Voltaire (1)Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1)Harriet Beecher Stowe (1)Jeff Hawkins (1)Daniel H.Pink (1)Marvin Bower (1)Lucius Annaeus Seneca (1)George Horace lorimer (1)Sports Quotes (1)Inventors (1)plato (1)Sympathy (1)Amy Schumer (1)Benjamin Disraeli (1)Brian Greene (1)Micky Ward (1)Quotations on Stregnth (1)Ludwig van Beethoven (1)No idling (1)Emotional Quotes (1)Leo Buscaglia (1)Leonard Cohen (1)Earl Nightingale (1)Quotations On Memorial Day (1)Tracy Morgan (1)Change Quotes (1)Poetry (1)Legal Quotes (1)Memorial Day (1)Failure quotes (1)Women Quotes (1)Never give up (2)Laws of life (1)Shari Arison (1)Shannon L. Alder (1)Christiane Northrup (1)Hilarie Burton (1)Andrew Carnegie (1)William Feather (1)Curtis Carlson (1)Stephen King (1)Jack Ma (1)Paul Watson (1)team work (1)Games (1)Alexander Solshenitsen (1)Goal Setting Quotes (1)Paul Mellon (1)Oliver Sacks (1)Leo Rosten (1)Joseph Addison (1)Angela Ruggiero (1)Naveen Jain (1)Great Quotes (1)Positive Thinking (1)Honesty Quotes (1)john dewey (1)Peace Quotes (1)Clare Boothe Luce (1)Quotations on Valentine Day (1)Service (1)Barack Obama (1)Most Inspirational Quotes (1)Floyd Mayweather Jr. (1)Communication Quotes (1)Mother Quotes (1)George Bernard Shaw (1)Criss Angel (1)Ernest Hemingway (1)Steven Pressfield (1)Spiritual Leader (1)