Funny quotes | Joyful Funny Quotations | Inspirational Quotes

Funny Quotes
Tags: 
Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes - Fun does many things for us; having fun gives us an opportunity to connect with people of different nature and be creative. Fun improves our relationships both at work and in life. When you have fun with others, these experiences have a positive effect on building trust and developing communication. Fun reduces our stress levels and often boosts vitality. Fun can make you more energetic and youthful.

There are a lot of ways to have fun.  Some people use jokes and humor to have fun, some play games, some watch funny movies and read funny books, funny quotes etc. Here we list funny quotes by famous authors and comedians :

Funny Quotes:

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” 

- George Carlin

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” 

- Phyllis Diller

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (Mahatma Gandhi)

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” 

- Mark Twain

Funny Quotes “What the hell is that?" I laughed.

"It's my fox hat."

"Your fox hat?"

"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."

"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.

"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.” 

- John Green

Funny Quotes “It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.” 

- Marilyn Monroe

“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.” 

- Ellen DeGeneres

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” 

- Albert Einstein

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” 

- Cathy Guisewite

“If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?” 

- Jerry Seinfeld

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” 

- Winston S. Churchill

“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.” 

- Bill Cosby

“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

- George Carlin

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”

- Reba McEntire

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

- Elbert Hubbard

“No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”

- Abraham Lincoln

“If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.”

- Tallulah Bankhead

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

- Jim Carrey

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

- Fred Allen

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

- Winston Churchill

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”

- Chris Rock

“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”

- Isaac Asimov

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”

- Margaret Mead

“Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.”

- Will Rogers

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”

- Anthony Burgess

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

- Mitch Hedberg

“If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”

- Henny Youngman

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

- Mark Twain

“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”

- Thomas Sowell

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”

- Benjamin Franklin

“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.”

- W. H. Auden

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

- Ron White

“Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.”

- Eminem

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”

- Rodney Dangerfield

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”

- Abraham Lincoln

“Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” 

- Suzanne Collins

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”

- Lily Tomlin

“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.”

- Brooke Shields

“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”

- Lana Turner

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.”

- Hedy Lamarr

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”

- Douglas Adams

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”

- George Carlin

“Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.”

- Thor Heyerdahl

Funny Quotes

“If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.”

- Robin Williams

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

“Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.”

- E. B. White

“Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube.”

- Joan Rivers

“By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.”

- Richard Dawkins

“We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.”

- Sheena Easton

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.”

- Albert Einstein

Author: 
Unknown
Inspire Quote: 
Funny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny QuotesFunny Quotes

Add new comment

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
9 + 10 =
Solve this simple math problem and enter the result. E.g. for 1+3, enter 4.

Recent Articles

Get Inspire

Inspire Tags

Ludwig van Beethoven (1)God Quotes (1)Sania Mirza (1)Leadership Quotes (1)Seismometer London England (4)Matt Cartwright (1)Helen Keller (1)Angela Ruggiero (1)Honesty Quotes (1)James Humes (1)Bearing Detector Houston TX (6)Low Frequency geophones Quebec Canada (4)Shaun White (1)Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1)Hope Quotes (1)King Solomon (1)Alexander Graham Bell (1)Communication Quotes (1)Walt Disney (1)Bill Gates (1)neet mock test papers (1)Gautama Buddha (1)Brian Greene (1)Brene Brown (1)Smoke Dampers (1)Music Quotes (1)Mary Anne Radmacher (1)John Quincy Adams (1)Success quotations (1)BTL activities (1)Software Development Company in Houston (10)Henry Wheeler Shaw (1)Hope quotations (1)Faith quotes (1)commodity trading (1)Change Quotes (1)Geophones Austin TX (2)Harry Stack Sullivan (1)Lee Atwater (1)Calvin Coolidge (1)Goral Gandhi (1)Time management skills (1)Software Development Company Houston (12)Shannon L. Alder (1)Curtis Carlson (1)Merchant_Services_Houston (6)Marathon (1)Self-Discipline Quotes (1)Orison Swett Marden (1)Vibration detectors Calgary Canada (7)hygiene unit (1)Groucho Marx (1)Courage Quotes (1)cantilever shelving systems (1)Machine Balancing Geophones Austin TX (1)Quotes on Truth (1)Geophones Dallas TX (1)Tracy Morgan (1)Inspiration (3)UL Fire Damper (1)Lou Rawls (1)safety equipment suppliers in uae (1)Dale Carnegie (1)hospitals in Eastern India (1)Madonna Ciccone (1)Team Building Quotes (1)Hydrophone and Dual Sensors Houston TX (4)Oprah Winfrey (1)Micky Ward (1)Jessica cox (1)water testing (2)Leonard Cohen (1)Marty Rubin (1)Jamie Oliver (1)Hard work (3)Alibaba Founder (1)Nelson Mandela (1)Jean Paul Friedrich (1)visa (1)Howard Schultz (1)H.Jackson Brown (1)Atlantic Ocean (2)Ryan International School (3)Software Development in Houston (12)air conditioning ducting supplies (1)Best Led Light Bulbs Houston TX (4)Adam Grant (1)Tommy Lasorda (1)Nature Quotes (1)James Whitcomb Riley (1)Albert Einstein (1)best wedding photographer (2)Travis Bradberry (1)Mark Pocan (1)Marcus Tullius Cicero (1)Scilla Elworthy (1)water testing lab in delhi (2)esma approved ac manufacturer (1)Conrad burns (1)Healthcare (5)Service (1)Kumar Mangalam Birla (1)Erykah Badu (1)Earl Nightingale (1)Custom Software Development Houston (9)Dalmia Health (1)Dr Goral Gandhi (2)Credit_Card_Processing_Companies_in_Houston_TX (6)Vincent Van Gogh (1)Patrick Henry Hughes (1)Robert Gately (1)results (1)Peace Quotes (1)Nobel Prizes (1)Louis Pasteur (1)Low Frequency geophones London England (3)Leadership (1)Vibration Sensor Austin TX (7)Miracle Man (1)Darell Hammond (1)Quotes on Teenage (1)Nick Vujicic (1)George Horace lorimer (1)John Powell (1)Houston Software Development Company (11)Kamal Hassan (1)team work (1)Dalai Lama (1)education (5)Thomas Carlyle (1)Joseph Addison (1)Amit Kalantri (1)Healthy lifestyle blog (1)Oscar Wilde (1)Fire Damper (1)Robert De Niro (1)Stephen King (1)Web Development Company Houston (12)Humor Quotes (1)Quotations on Patriotism (1)Persistence Quotes (1)Vibration Sensor Houston TX (4)Paul Mellon (1)ahu unit manufacturer (1)plato (1)J.K. Rowling (1)Yuval Noah Harari (1)Failure Management (1)Ferdinand Marcos (1)Machine Balancing Geophones Dallas TX (6)Alan Greenspan (1)High Temperature Geophones Dallas TX (2)Entrepreneur (1)Aristotle (1)Criss Angel (1)Dusk to Dawn Led Light Bulb Houston TX (7)Successful woman (1)Patriotism (1)Yehuda Berg (1)Margaret Heffernan (1)Shiv Khera (1)Health (3)Machine Balancing Geophones Houston TX (4)New Year (1)John Dryden (1)wedding photographer (2)B. F. Skinner (1)Vision Quotes (1)Quotes on Sympathy (1)Amphibious building style (1)water testing lab (2)Best astrologer in India (1)Steve Jobs (1)Led Flood Lights Houston TX (5)Oliver Sacks (1)dog sellers in bangalore (1)dream quotes (1)Quotations On Memorial Day (1)John D. Rockefeller (1)Anthong Foxx (1)abroad education consultants (5)Isak Dinesen (1)neet question papers with answers (1)Real estate (1)Experience Quotes (1)Brain Tracy (1)Khashaba Dadasaheb Jadhav (1)condensing unit (1)Bertrand Russell (1)Henry J. Kaiser (1)Mother Quotes (1)William Morris (1)wire rope manufacturer (2)neet questions chapter wise (1)Maya Angelou (1)Inventors killed (1)buy dogs in bangalore (1)cantilever racking supplier (1)Do it (3)Jon Oringer (1)AMRI Hospitals Bhubaneswar (1)D.H. Lawrence (1)Young Jeezy (1)kolkata hospitals (1)Jack Ma (1)pgdm (1)assisted reproduction (2)Money (1)Emotional Quotes (1)Drake (1)Led Wall Pack Light Houston TX (7)Damian Woetzel (1)Merchant_Services_in_Houston (6)Jeff Hawkins (1)SEO Company (1)Friendship Quotes (1)W. C. Fields (1)Hope (1)Positive Thinking Quotes (1)Laurence J. Peter (1)canada education (3)Credit_Card_Processing_Companies_Houston (6)Construction (1)Harvey Mackay (1)mep consulting engineers (1)testing lab in delhi (2)Abraham Lincoln (1)IVF Specialist in Mumbai (11)chain block manufacturer (2)Steven Wright (1)Miguel de Cervantes (1)Business person (1)chain block suppliers in uae (1)Norman Douglas (1)MLM consultant (3)Hydrophone and Dual Sensors Dallas TX (5)Spiritual Leader (1)Marc Benioff (1)Vapor Tight Led Houston TX (7)tarot for career (1)Indian Film Actor (1)chapter wise questions for neet (1)Daniel Goleman (1)tips to hire top photographers (2)Mary Kay Ash (1)Achievement (4)Sean Swarner Everest Climber (1)Strength (1)Soft skills (1)ccess doors manufacturer (1)Wall Mount Led Lights Houston TX (7)high speed doors uae (1)neet question bank (1)Peggy Fleming (1)Wisdom Quotes (1)wedding photographer in lucknow (2)Rick Pitino (1)Steven Pressfield (1)Marvin Bower (1)Paul J.Meyer (1)Safety (1)Indian Successful CEOs (1)Tom Freston (1)stall designing (1)LED Panel Lights Houston TX (6)mep services (1)neet online mock test (1)Vince Lombardi (1)Quotations on Valentine Day (1)Building (1)Barack Obama (1)Hermann Hesse (1)M.J.Ryan (1)LED Landscape Spot and Flood Lights Houston TX (6)William Makepeace Tahckeray (1)Thad Cochran (1)IVF success (1)love tarot (1)Memorial Day (1)Fitness Quotes (1)Mikaela Shiffrin (1)Satchel Paige (1)Julius Erving (1)Richard Branson (1)Charles Dickens (1)Kofi Annan (1)Ryan Pinto (1)Vibration detectors London England (1)neet practice papers (1)Led Light Fixtures Houston TX (4)Spirituality Quotes (1)Robert Breault (1)Tony Robbins (1)Legal Quotes (1)Orson Scott Card (1)Andrew Shue (1)Emma Thompson (1)Freddie Highmore (1)Benjamin Disraeli (1)Jane Addams (1)James Altucher (1)Albert Schweitzer (1)inspiring (1)Goral Gandhi IVF (1)Peter drucker (1)Wilfred Peterson (1)Epictetus (1)Anita Roddick (1)Alex Morritt (1)Low Frequency Geophones Houston TX (3)Conan O Brien (1)Humanity (1)dogs for sale in bangalore (1)Fly Solo (2)Ronald Ross (1)Studying Abroad (3)Low Frequency geophones Calgary Canada (7)Quotes (1)Parents (1)Bookkeeping services in UAE (1)Floyd Mayweather Jr. (1)air conditioning companies in dubai (1)Tom Peters (1)Positive Thinking (1)Andrew Carnegie (1)Richard Carlson (1)Joe Morgan (1)Bearing Detector Dallas TX (2)storage solutions dubai (1)Valentine Day (1)Love Quotes (1)Jacky Ickx (1)Great Quotes (1)SEO Expert Houston TX (3)Clare Boothe Luce (1)Innovation (1)Embryologist (1)Sanjay Dalmia (1)Software Companies in Houston (9)wedding photography in lucknow (1)C.S. Lewis (1)Life Quotes (1)Mahatma Gandhi Quotes (1)Rod Blagojevich (1)Melody Beattie (1)ielts (1)encouragement quotes (1)Yogi Berra (1)PGDM course (1)PPC (1)Sophie Swetchine (1)Laws of life (1)online mock test for neet (1)IELTS coaching Gurgaon (1)Top Led Light Manufacturers in USA (5)Charles Lamb (1)Henry Ford (1)William Feather (1)Vera Nazarian (1)lifting equipments manufacturers (2)Ocean Bottom Seismic Houston TX (4)Most Inspirational Quotes (1)Karin Slaughter (1)Running (2)Games (1)Thomas Edison (1)dog puppies for sale in bangalore (1)Jim Rohn (1)David Levithan (1)Appreciation Quotations (1)Punctuality skills (1)IVF (9)Inspirational story (1)Time management (2)C. JoyBell C Biography (1)AMRI Hospitals (1)New Year's Quotations (1)Sports Inspiration (1)benefits of IVF (1)Rick Steves (1)Truth (1)Share Market (1)Swami Vivekananda (2)study in canada (1)Monique Murphy (1)Winston S. Churchill (1)exhibition (3)Attitude Quotes (1)VIDEO (2)investment (1)Failure Management quotes (1)William Butler Yeats (1)John F. Kennedy (1)Vibration Detector Houston TX (5)Glenn Greenwald (1)Rudyard Kipling (1)Business quotes (1)Arthur C. Clarke (1)Self Driving Car (1)wedding photography (1)Martin Luther King Jr (1)Geophone Suppliers Houston TX (4)Ernest Hemingway (1)Benjamin Franklin (1)Family Quotes (1)Geophones Houston TX (4)Michelle Obama (1)Leo Rosten (1)Jean Chatzky (1)Robert Collier (1)High temperature geophones Calgary Canada (7)design (2)Team work quotes (1)UL Classified fire damper (1)Dr Goral Gandhi Mumbai (2)Diet food recipes (1)hvac companies in dubai (1)Aesop (1)George Bernard Shaw (1)wedding photography trends (1)Intelligence Quotes (1)eligibility requirement Canada PR (1)Commercial LED Outdoor Lighting Houston TX (7)Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1)Women (1)Bernard Baruch (1)spectro labs (2)team management (1)Better building construction (1)MLM business (2)Hunter S. Thompson (1)Bobby Scott (1)Gerald Chertavian (1)Commitment quotes (1)Salman F Rahman (1)Led Corn Bulb Manufacturers Houston TX (7)Happiness quotes (1)Healthy and fitness blogs (2)inspirational quotes (1)Endometriosis (1)Bearing Detector Austin TX (7)Parents day Quotes (1)Madam Grace Pinto (1)Marriage Quotes (1)SEO Company in Houston (11)Funny Quotes (1)Dalmia Group (1)Analytical Testing Lab (3)Marathon Racer (1)Angela Merkel (1)Steve Jobs Quotes (1)Inspire (2)Narendra Modi (1)Mobile_Payments_Houston (6)Led Canopy Lights Houston TX (7)Goal Setting Quotes (1)Led Area Light Houston TX (7)Conrad Hilton (1)Sympathy (1)Bookkeeping services in Dubai (1)Rabindranath Tagore (1)education quotes (1)Marya Mannes (1)Vincent Nichols (1)Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1)Toy Testing (1)James Heckman (1)Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1)High Temperature Geophones Ontario Canada (4)Lucius Annaeus Seneca (1)stall (1)Mireille Guiliano (1)Poem (1)Brian Acton (1)ICSI (1)Stephen Covey (1)access door supplier (1)Dalmia Family (1)Judy Blume (1)Vibration detectors Ontario Canada (4)Success (10)Never give up (2)NRI Privilege Health Card (1)Poorna Malavath (1)Security Velocity Sensors Dallas TX (7)Mini Led Flood Light Houston TX (6)Erma Bombeck (1)M.Scott Peck (1)Integrity Quotes (1)Aarohi Pandit (2)Digital marketing (1)Dr Gautam Allahbadia Mumbai (18)Ecommerce Development Houston (1)Og Mandino (1)Lou Holtz (1)Dr T.P.Chia (1)Do the work (1)mep consultants (1)Religion Quotes (1)Quotations on Stregnth (1)Behaviour (1)Vibration detectors Quebec Canada (8)neet mock test (1)Mark Frauenfelder (1)air conditioning company in dubai (1)Creativity (3)Leo Buscaglia (1)earth-quake resistant (1)Top 10 Indian CEO’s (1)Voltaire (1)Sundeep Kochar (1)William Arthur Ward (1)dog dealers in bangalore (1)Low Frequency Geophones Dallas TX (6)Quotes On Travel (1)chain sling manufacturer (2)Suzy Kassem (1)concrete building (1)Mother Theresa (1)Inventors (1)James Cash Penney (1)Bookkeeping services in abu dhabi (1)Vibration Detector Dallas TX (6)Teachers’ Day Quotes (1)canada Universities (1)Point_of_Sale_Houston (6)Romance (1)Andre Gide (1)Shari Arison (1)High temperature geophones Quebec Canada (1)Randy Pausch (1)Daniel H.Pink (1)Virginia Postrel (1)Dr Gautam Allahbadia (18)democritus (1)Health quotes (1)Jacob A. Riis (1)No idling (1)Website Development Company Houston (12)creative (1)Pallam Raju (1)Self driving car in Bangalore (1)Apple CEO (1)Successful people (1)Fathers day quotes (1)Bangladesh (1)canada immigration (1)horizontal life line system (1)Harriet Beecher Stowe (1)Chance Quotes (1)Invention (1)Relationship quotes (1)Web_Development_Company_Houston (1)medical emergency (1)Jobs (1)Sydney J. Harris (1)Julia Gillard (1)Seismic products Houston TX (4)Passion Quotes (1)free online tarot card reading (1)Earl Wilson (1)Abdul Kalam Quotations (1)Siri Hustvedt (1)Never Give Up Quotes (1)study mbbs abroad (2)Quotations on money (1)Immigration Quotes (1)Scientists (1)Gilbert K. Chesterton (1)buy dogs bangalore (1)Liz Murray (1)john dewey (1)Want to Immigrate to Canada (1)Management quotes (1)Women Quotes (1)SEO Expert HoustonTX (7)Security Velocity Sensors Houston TX (4)Merchant_Processing_Houston (6)Vibration Detector Austin TX (7)Larry Bird (1)tarot card reading (1)Team Management Quotes (1)Learning Quotes (1)Failure quotes (1)pgdm courses (1)Hilarie Burton (1)Knowledge Quotes (1)Eric Ripert (1)A.P.J. Abdul Kalam (1)gate barrier dubai (1)High Temperature Geophones Houston TX (3)Hard Work Quotes (1)Punctuality (1)Mahatma Gandhi (1)study visa (1)trade show (1)Best Overseas Education consultants in UAE (1)Farmer (1)assisted hatching (1)best wedding studio in lucknow (1)Alexander Solshenitsen (1)Vibration Sensor Dallas TX (7)Immigrate to Canada (1)Dave Ramsey (1)Sports Quotes (1)Bill Clinton (1)management institute (1)Christiane Northrup (1)Mark Twain (1)Julie Andrews (1)Ecommerce Web Development Houston (3)Motivational Quotes (4)Celebrity astrologer in india (1)Naveen Jain (1)SEO services (1)Geophone Suppliers Dallas TX (1)Paul Watson (1)Poetry (1)Amy Schumer (1)Low Frequency geophones Ontario Canada (1)Douglas Adams (1)C.G. Jung (1)Quotations on Romance (1)Sudha Chandran (1)